Feedback?

I've been experimenting with a poem that many of you unwittingly helped with. I was thinking about Haikus and how noone writes serious ones so I decided to try. I realized that it is IMPOSSIBLE so I instead came up with this idea. A few lines are original but the rest are quotes from published work, the board in our class and some of your poems. I manipulated them slightly in a few places. Anyway since it's kind unorthodox I'm very curious about how it works. Any feedback would be great.

-Mike


Random Lines from Poetry Workshop


Romanticized Nostalgia
Long gone are the days
of marble men and maidens
and Prometheus.

Exodus
I cannot hear it
pluming, as the years skimmed
strict diets of toads.

Rapid Detachment From Real
Spawned inside Al Gore:
Check a few emails, Facebook
we search for meaning.

Magic Numbers (slash) Writing’s Hard
Revisions: 3 poems
Consider the seven sins
science won’t save you.

Really About The Speaker
Pop smoked Marlboros.
From these mortal reminders
the cantata mutes.

Where Are The Prosodic Symphonies
Reality TV:
The death of our eloquence,
a trite eulogy.

Edenic Loss
Sing heavenly muse:
The breakfast of champions!
Brackish new and old.

Box Side Bullshit
Saturated fat
and other useless info.
Fuck nutrition facts.

Aching For An Epiphany
I’m still here hoping
the world is more than concrete.
I’m still so tired.

Just a Thought

This is kind of random but i just recently realized that I never posted a comment about the poetry journals that Professor Graham gave us. I was just looking through mine and I found this poem that I really like and wanted to share.

Blowing Bubbles with my Two-Year Old

Enraptured—

the invocation of bubbles—

the pop.

Nothing into something
into nothing.

Each ascension
of soapy iridescence
is hallowed

My daughter's eyes
confirm the miracle. Her finger
blesses those it cannot touch

and those it can
become breath.

I thought this poem was beautifully written and I picture a father, even like a new father, watching this little girl blowing bubbles and taking such joy in it. It's a poem that I think conveys the father daughter bond and how you can be so moved by something so insignificant. The poem was from the journal Paper Street. The Paper Street Press's goal (as stated in the preface) is to "provide a new outlet for fiction sure of its history and footing, poetry unencumbered by distraction." I thought this poem exemplified that goal.

Ok, Brian, (a.k.a., Dr. Clements),

I have a question for you, too, although I feel like we've probably talked a bit about this in the years we've known each other: I'm curious as to what about our home state of Arkansas and the inherent culture of the place do you think most influenced you--even if that influence had to do with your turning away from it, or the "rebellion" that you speak of in an earlier answer?

Maybe this is something that we should explore in our writing?

LG

Team 3 Questions For Brian Clements

MC: I'm the (self-proclaimed) world's biggest Kurt Vonnegut fan and he is a constant inspiration for my work. In fact I find most of my writing, poetic and not, is influenced by my reading. I was wondering who you read and how they affect your writing. Furthermore my poems tend to be fairly allusive. How important do you find allusions to be in poetry and how much concern do you have about the accessability of your poetry?

Team 2 Questions for Brian

Greetings from team 2!!!! Also known as Sophie, John, Anthony, Sean, Megan & Daisy

We have all come up with questions to ask you and hope they don't trouble you in any way!

JV: Here's my revised question:

In "And How to End it," Voyager I and II have a unique presentation and a very original format. Do you have a special place that you go to write something like Voyager? Do you have a specific ritual that eases you into writing?

SO:
I am most interested in the section Elegy and Fugue on Voyagers 1 & 2 and how you correlate history and lying. One of the poems that I really enjoy is


I have heard that history is like an onion:

it will sprout up anywhere you let it.

Did you use Voyagers 1 & 2 not only as a time frame for a certain period in history but also as a perspective, since there are so many ways to look at the past and what we know as history is merely what was thought important enough by some people to be recorded?
Furthering that question, what is your perspective on history,how much of what we are taught or what we know of "history" do you believe is a lie, partial or whole and how did this influence this section of the book?

I hope these questions aren't too confusing and thank you.

S.B.: In your book and your poetry, you ask many questions. I wonder if you have found any answers to these questions, or if you even look and just ask them to inspire thought. Also, I wonder if you really want to know the answers to such questions.

MS: my question is:

I loved how you were able to weave many different poems together. For instance, in Fog, every page seemed to represent a different poem, yet they were all strung together to create one stream of consciousness. When writing these poems, were they revised to fit together or were they written intentionally like this?

my other question is:

I know as a poetry writer, I am never fully convinced that my poetry is speaking in the volume I'd like it to. How long does it take you to revise your poetry so that it truly becomes what you want it to be? Were you satisfied with each poem in your book, believing that every poem gets your voice/message across?

AB: Reading :21 I noticed that he has an unusual stream of metaphors. I wonder if these are thought out beforehand or if it streams together as he goes. Do the poems have a direction when he starts out? because in this one it seems like he let it take him.

DM: When writing a poem, how do you know your poem is finished? I noticed that we tend to rewrite poems over and over to see if we actually found the ending to our poem, so how do you know when you finally composed "the poem?"

I also wanted to know when you write a poem, do you get the message you want to convey in your poetry, or do you use certain hidden messages that you want the readers to try to analyze and figure out on their own?

Thanks again for taking the time to read our questions!!!!

Team 2 :-)

Poetic Formation & Brian Clements as a Kid

PG:I started writing poems before I learned how to ride a bike (in fact I still don't really know how to) but ever since I've started college I've experienced, what seems to be, a long term writer's block. Has there ever been a time in your life where you felt creatively drained and if so how did you overcome it?